一封商业函电的语气反映了笔者对待读者的态度。如果函电中有一种亲切而充满合作之意的语气,它在建立令人满意的关系时就会起到很大作用,而这种关系在开展业务时十分重要。
如果笔者想达到自己的目的,除了用简洁明了的语言提供一切必要的情况之外,还要采取适当的语气。笔者的语气必要既切合实际情况,又切合自己的目的。一封语气不当的函电会产生意想不到的不良效果。请参看下列例证。
On the 6th Maarch last we ordered 100 cartons of socks. We stressed the importance of delivery by the 30th April at the latest. The socks have not yet been delivered nor has there been an acknowledgment of our order.
Please look into the matter at once and let us know when you expect to fill the order.
例文中使用的是一种命令式的语气,这种语气暗示了读者做错了事,这很难使读者配合。对这种不当的语气可以做如下的改进。
On the 6th March last we placed with you an order for 100 cartons of socks,stressing the importance of delivery by the 30th April.
We have not received the socks,nor have we received an acknowledgment of our order. Delay in receiving the socks is creating difficulties. Since the matter is urgent, we will appreciate your advising us whenwe many expect to receive the shipment.
(1) 自然:如果笔者使用读者熟悉的词语,函电就会显得自然,这样的函电才能收到良好的效果。一般来讲,交谈式的语言在写业务函电时是最理想的,因为这显得很自然。简而言之,像说话那样写。
比较:
Its operational deficiencies were attributed by the agency to a lack of personnel resulting form budget limitations.
The agency said that it could not do a good job because it did not have enough money to hire enough peple.
(2) 友好:函电中对读者的问题表示关心,让读者感到函电中充满同情心,读后颇有裨益,觉得心中热乎乎。这样做十分重要。冷漠的语气可能会令人感到笔者对读者的利益漠不关心。请注意下列两句的区别。
We are obliged to inform you that the completion of processing your application has been postponed until the end of next week.
We are sorry to have kept you waiting, but it has taken us more time than expected to process your application. We will have it completed by next Friday.
(3) 礼貌:写业务函电时务必注意礼貌。即使收到一封态度粗鲁、蛮不讲理的信时,也要以谅解的态度做出彬彬有礼的回答。提出批评,表示不赞同时一定要谨慎小心,让自己的语气充满关心和体谅,即使向对方提出责备时,也不要冒犯对方。
比较:
The store received your credit application form on time, but it was filled out incorrectly. As the form indicates, your signature should be written on the bottom of both pages, but you neglected to do this. You form is being returned to you for proper signing.
Thank you for returning your credit application form so promptly. However, we do need your signature on both pages. Just sign on the second page at the bottom and return it, We will then be glad to consider your application.
(4) 使用人称句:业务函电应尽量避免使用枯燥无味的无人称句。要让读者感到他正受到你本人的注意。
下面两段,哪一段较好?请比较一下。
Your contract is still in force.Our notice telling you it has lapsed was intended for another contract - owner. We are sorry for any inconvenience this error may have caused you.
A notice was sent to the above address advising of a lapse of contract. However, this notice was intended for another contract - owner and should be disregarded.